'Cockneys Vs. Zombies' Surefire Midnight Movie Romp

By Jon Graef in Arts & Entertainment on Aug 3, 2013 4:30PM

In the movies, the robbery always goes wrong. Maybe not in a Dog Day Afternoon, Dead Presidents, or Reservoir Dogs kind of way, but you can sure count on an unexpected snafu of one variety or another complicating what was no doubt intended to be a foolproof plan.

What's not so expected for the East London-based characters (if not the moviegoers watching them) of Cockneys vs. Zombies, though, are the undead elements which prevent a gang of youthful East Enders from executing their plan to save a senior rest center from the evil forces of gentrification.

(Of the wannabe robbers, two are hapless siblings whose colorfully profane grandpa is a resident of the senior home; one is their lock breaker cousin; and the others are a psychotic hanger-on and an even more hapless acquaintance.)

Of course, given how the plan was going before the undead arrive -- surrounded by police, having taken two hostages -- it would appear that getting away with those millions of quid was a pipe dream at best. So their deadpan comic surprise that the once-omnipresent police cornering them have turned into zombie dust (so to speak) comes as a immediate comedic highlight, and a nice little tweak of audience expectations.

And so it goes with Cockneys vs. Zombies. Though it lacks the provocative bite of Romero, the full-throttled terror of Boyle, or even the good-natured satirical homage of Wright, "Cockneys vs. Zombies" is a surefire midnight romp for those who like cleverly constructed horror.

To put it another way: you may find the plot elements or characterizations of this film to be typical, or even rote, but the film keeps an agreeable, quick pace which allows it to pull off the occasional subversive laugh, quick scare, and gleeful displays of gore.

Highlights include: a grenade in the mouth of a metal-plated zombie (how else to kill a zombie with a metal plate in its head?); using zombies to satirize soccer hooligans to the tones of the Kaiser Chiefs; and a scene where residents of an senior citizen home try to warn an oblivious, hard-of-hearing cohort about the zombie threat behind him--without getting the zombies riled up.

That last sequence in particular is a triumph--it goes from gut-wrenching dramatic irony to Pythonesque absurdity to sly meta commentary all in one effortless fell swoop.

Like we said, the plotting and characterizations can be rote, and the cutting between the robbers, who hide out in a warehouse for some of the film, and the grandpa and his friends in the threatened senior citizen home, drains the movie of some of its tension. But the crisp direction and keen screenplay ultimately make sure "Zombies" pull through. There are moments of true inspiration to stave off the typical horror movie fat.

If nothing else, if you wanted to see a senior citizen pull off their false leg in order to beat a zombie to death with it, then Cockneys vs. Zombies is the film for you.

Here's the trailer:

Cockneys vs. Zombies plays tonight at midnight at the Music Box.