Naked Man Tripping Balls Arrested, Tasered After Breaking Car Windshield With Ass Outside North Coast [UPDATE]

By Jon Graef in News on Sep 1, 2013 4:15PM

Photo via Taser's website

Well, we suppose it wouldn't be a weekend in Chicago without someone doing something untoward with their hindquarters in the presence of Chicago's finest.

Here now is what you came for after reading that header. Per the Trib:

Chicago police Tasered a naked man who jumped atop a Mercedes Benz and planted his buttocks through its windshield outside the North Coast Music Festival on Saturday night.

The 22-year-old from Massachusetts was intoxicated or high on a hallucinogenic drug at the time, police said.

Two people called 911 from Ogden Avenue near Randolph Street about 8:10 p.m. - one to report a naked man who broke a windshield, and the other to report a naked man jumping on top of cars.

And, just like last time, here's a detail that can't be unread: "After breaking the windshield and getting Tasered, he was taken to Mount Sinai Hospital for observation and to get shards of glass removed from his buttocks."

Criminal charges—and we can only imagine the kind of rap sheet a hallucinatory game of ass-cheek luxury car Whac-A-Mole draws up—are pending.

UPDATE: The Trib updated their story, and it has to be read to be believed. Sam Schauer, 22, of Auburndale, Massachusetts, was charged with: reckless damage to property, resisting/obstructing police, reckless conduct, aggravated assault and public indecency.