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High-Fives For Hire At The Empty Bottle This New Year's Eve

By Jessica Mlinaric in Arts & Entertainment on Dec 15, 2013 9:30PM

Credit: Matt Hannigan

The Empty Bottle (1035 N Western Ave.) is inviting you to choose your own adventure this New Year’s Eve celebration. "Scenario One" involves sobriety foiling your efforts to effectively engage strangers to the strains of “Blurred Lines,” because that $80 drink package you purchased in desperate panic and/or resignation is good for one Bud Light and a 50-minute bar line. You might even miss the countdown (!), and your 2014 will be as terrible as all the other years of your life. The End.

"Scenario Two" finds you at the Empty Bottle on Dec. 31 at 9 p.m., for the low, low price of $10 in advance.

You’re selling your soul to the slaying of Oozing Wound, grooving along to Magic Milk’s fuzzy psychedelia, and unraveling crooner Jimmy Whispers, the “greatest new homegrown musical enigma” in town according to the Tribune. The part about desperation is probably still true, but at least you’re rocking your face off to Chicago’s up-and-comers. As a bonus, you can spend 2014 telling your friends how you saw those bands “last year.”

But there’s more!

In a veritable buffet of merry making, the Empty Bottle is giving you the power to customize—sorry curate—your New Year’s Eve experience.

Add-on options to your advance ticket order from the convenience of home, then strut into the event with the confidence that comes from knowing an Old Style will be waiting for you at only $2.50 Pre-purchase a round of Fireball shots for the musically-inclined new friends you’ll be replacing your old ones with for $5 each.

Don’t like waiting around? Order yourself a table reservation for $40. (Limited to ONE) and VIP/band bathroom access for $2.

And whether you really are that alone, or just overcome with holiday cheer, give yourself the security of some human interaction with a high-five from every staff member of the Empty Bottle at just $50! Have you seen that crowd? Priceless indeed.

New Year’s Eve could be the last day of the year or the first day of the rest of your life. Choose wisely. Buy tickets in advance online. 21+.