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Intoxicated Suburban Couple Has Sex In Cab, Then Say They Can't Pay Fare

By Jon Graef in News on Feb 22, 2014 5:00PM

Usually, one has to wait until summertime for a story like this to come to fruition. But the news of the weird gods, perhaps sensing the collective, winter-related PTSD the city of Chicago has, decided to generously give us news junkies the following story.

Police in suburban Orland Park say that a cab driver picked up a couple who then proceeded to do the humpty dance inside the car. After they arrived to their destination, the couple then said they couldn't pay the fare.

Via the Chicago Tribune:

Police responding to the 15500 block of Sunset Ridge Drive in Orland Park on Feb. 9 said they encountered an exasperated driver, two intoxicated, incoherent passengers and clothing "strewn throughout the taxi."

Prompted by the presence of police, the 27-year-old man used his mother's credit card to pay the debt, leaving the 31-year-old Elgin woman to find her way home, police said. Authorities said they took her to the police station, where she was eventually picked up by her brother.

Classy guy! Somewhere, Lena Dunham is furiously storyboarding a future episode of Girls.

Chicago author Dmitry Samarov, who literally wrote the book about Chicago cabs, said this:

So let's not besmirch the good name of couples having sex in cabs, OK?