The Chicagoist will be launching later but in the meantime please enjoy our archives.

The Week That Was: Unseasonable Cold, Mayor’s Race Heats Up, and Lukewarm Sports

By Staff in News on Sep 14, 2014 8:30PM

Change was the topic last week in Chicago. We moved straight from summer to frost warnings, baseball ennui turned to abject horror about the Bears, and some faces popped up to remind us how things used to be.

In logic only the Chicago City Council could employ, we were told castrating the Office of the Inspector General and letting Faisal Kahn twist in the wind during the final year of his contract—to the tune of $350,000 in wasted expense—was good for taxpayers. (Thank you, City Council.)

Better still, the proposal was made by Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s floor leader, Ald. Pat O’Connor, a man who is under investigation by the very Inspector General’s office he seeks to abolish. Under the proposal, oversight for the City Council would go to the Chicago Inspector General, Joe Ferguson, a man who has been put under Emanuel’s thumb by the Illinois Supreme Court.

Ferguson oversees nefarious activities in the whole city and would have less time and resources to focus on...oh, say, just for an example, violating the rules on “soliciting campaign contributions, contract inducement, conflict of interest, improper influence, and fiduciary duty.’’ Is it the Judean People’s Front, or the People’s Front of Judea?

New angles developed in the Mayor’s race as Ald. Bob Fioretti (2nd) beat Karen Lewis to an official campaign announcement. Mayor Rahm Emanuel welcomed all vote-splitting comers and sneered a fill-in-name-here style reply as he paused only briefly from rolling around in $100 bills stashed for his re-election.

Rahm’s potential campaign slogan: “His 35 percent approval rating says 'no,' but his campaign finance report says 'yes'.’’ While Emanuel scoffed, Gov. Pat Quinn breathed a sigh of relief as a new poll provided hope he could limp back into the Springfield mansion this year.

People don’t think he’s doing a good job and they aren’t confident in the state’s finances. But he is a sitting governor who hasn’t been indicted for anything, and in Illinois that still means something.

Speaking of people doing a mediocre job, Jay Cutler proved he is the guy we thought he was, as the season was declared a total loss after week one. Cutler doesn’t change, it’s only our bipolar perception of him that changes like seasonal fashion. And many Chicagoans discovered we have a WNBA franchise, as the Chicago Sky fell short in the league’s championship series.

Note of hope: Hockey and basketball start next month.

It wasn’t just Chicago’s Inspector General debate that wore irony so comfortably. Dick Cheney offered President Obama unsolicited advice on the Middle East, Mitt Romney popped by to tell us how much we miss him, and boxer Floyd Mayweather promoted Saturday night’s bout by defending a fellow domestic abuser.

Another figure we can’t quite get rid of, former Mayor Richard Daley, popped up as well. No, he didn’t suddenly remember anything from the odoriferous Park Grill deal, but his family is fully engaged in the profitable city contract business. He may be done running the city, but he’s not done with the Clan Daley earning money from it. It gives new meaning to the term "Da Mayor for life."

On the subject of not remembering things, critics called for the resignation of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and suggested his replacement be former U.S. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice. Because not remembering you have seen a hotel security tape is a travesty, but not remembering if you had direct evidence of terrorist attacks, weapons of mass destruction, “enhanced interrogation,’’ or yellow cake uranium...well, hey, anyone can make that mistake.

And that was the week that was.

"The Week That Was'' is a satirical, yet informative, look back at recent news. We consider it to be mostly accurate

By: Tony Boylan