Don't Leave Canine Fecal Surprises In The Parks, People
By Chuck Sudo in News on Jan 23, 2015 2:45PM
“Canine Fecal Surprise” isn’t the name of an unreleased Emerson, Lake & Palmer record. It’s what is waiting for you in parks and on sidewalks when irresponsible dog owners don’t pick up after their charges. This affliction grows to epidemic proportions during winter when, instead of using snow to make collecting dog poop easier, those same dog owners allow falling snow to bury the turds under a fresh blanket of white, waiting for your boots to step on when the snow melts and the turds thaw.
If you live in the West Loop, have children, like to sled and frequent Mary Bartelme Park, you most likely are very familiar with Canine Fecal Surprise because your kids are covered in it after an otherwise enjoyable afternoon of sledding. Mary Bartelme Park has a designated dog area but pet owners not only allow their pooches to shit with abandon, they allow the dogs to run off-leash. (And if you have a dog who is hyperactively friendly when meeting strangers, that behavior can be mistaken for aggression.)
It’s become such a problem that Ald. Danny Solis, whose 25th Ward includes Bartelme, proposed installing cameras around the park to catch dog owners who don’t collect their pets’ deposits. (Can you tell there’s an election next month?)
But Scott Maesel, president of the park’s advisory council, told DNAInfo Chicago he’d be more content if the irresponsible owners were ticketed, instead.
"There will be five violations at one time," he said. "I hate to do it, but we need to ticket at this point."
Maesel said he’s asked owners to pick up after their dogs and those owners either ignored him or told him where to shove the poop.
Bartleme Park is, unfortunately, not an isolated problem. Down in the wunnerful Bridgeport area, my walks with Mira the Chicagoist Office manager are highlighted by having to navigate the minefield of poop that McGuane Park's softball fields become every winter, while Palmisano Nature Park across the street—where dogs aren't allowed—becomes an alternative dog walking route for owners frustrated by the mess at McGuane. And there are similar stories waiting to be told from people across the city.
Chicagoans: how goddamn hard is it to pick up some dog shit? All you need is a plastic bag and maybe, depending on the softness of the stool, some newspaper. (Don’t have any newsprint handy? Print out this article and use that!) There are several obligations we assume as pet owners. Cleaning up after their bowel movements is the most basic.
And if you refuse, maybe this deserves to be your fate.