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The Week That Was: A Week For Goodbyes

By Anthony Burke Boylan in News on Jan 26, 2015 5:40PM

Photo credit: Bill Guerriero

This week Chicago lost a legend. We will mourn the demise of a cultural icon we have known and loved for decades; one that provided enduring charm, warm smiles and a fondness that never can be replaced.

That’s right, the Victory Auto Wreckers ad is getting a makeover.

Oh. And Ernie Banks died, too.

In case you needed anyone to make it official for you, two leading experts this week identified Mayor Emanuel’s campaign ads as pure and utter bullflop.

The city’s top media critic, Robert Feder, called them “fabulous fakes,’’ while The Reader’s Ben Joravsky compared Rahm’s mendacity to that of a cheating husband.

Earlier in his tenure the mayor said he was listening to the people when he closed 50 schools, but nobody had said they wanted that. Now he’s claiming the people want him to take South Side park land for the Obama library, when in fact the preponderance of people are quite clear in asking him to please keep all nine and a half fingers off Chicago parkland.

I think we need to look at the possibility he hears voices, a trait common among historical figures … you know, like Son of Sam.

The voices seem to be predominantly white and wealthy, and, of course, favor privatization. The voices don’t much care for working class people. Just weeks after we were made aware of His Honor’s habit of fining independent taverns for the way they hold parties, he’s trying to fix the budget crisis $50 at a time by ticketing people who don’t shovel their walks.

From “the city that works’’ to “the DIY city,’’ or so it seems. Can filling our own potholes be far behind?

Perhaps if our mayor were to reopen the mental health care clinics he closed he could get this matter resolved.

And speaking of those who don’t much care for working class people, Gov. C. Montgomery Bruce Rauner Burns showed he has the courage to pay exorbitant salaries to wealthy cronies while opposing a livable minimum wage. I guess we are learning what he meant by shaking up Springfield.

Rauner’s fake Democrat wife will have a chief of staff—who will aid her in the ZERO official duties she has—earning $100,000 a year. This particular employee seems to be exempt from the bootstrap bromides so widely disseminated by the guv.

If this person truly is worth a hundred K in the private sector, aren’t we keeping a value asset from the world of commerce and industry. Let’s all try to find Mrs. Rauner a nice, competent unemployed mom or laid-off dad who would be delighted to do the job for half that price.

And that was the week that was.

"The Week That Was'' is a satirical, yet informative, look back at recent news. We consider it to be mostly accurate.