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Celebrity Deathmatch: Billy Corgan Vs. Kanye West

By Chuck Sudo in Arts & Entertainment on Feb 27, 2015 8:00PM

Photo credits: Ian Gavan/Getty Images (Corgan); Mike Coppola/Getty Images (West)

Billy Corgan is out of the country promoting the Smashing Pumpkins latest album, Monuments to an Elegy and still as feisty as ever and still immersed in his current “back in my day” elder statesman phase.

During an appearance on an Australian morning show (where Smashing Pumpkins are playing the Soundwave festival), Corgan waxed philosophic about the current state of the music industry; the “scourge” of current pop and dance music, which he compared to “a form of pornography;” and how things would be different if Kurt Cobain was still alive.

The conversation steered toward the Grammy Awards and Kanye West’s upstaging of Beck after Beck won Album of the Year. Corgan’s response was picked up by Spin magazine. (Forward to the 5:45 mark in the embedded video for Corgan’s remarks, and 7:05 for the quote below.)

I don’t know Kanye but I think he’s speaking from his heart. I believe he believes what he’s saying. I just think that’s the inappropriate venue to do it, because in essence, that’s Beck’s moment, whether you agree or disagree.

And I’ve stood there at that podium, too. And I’ll tell you what, if someone got up and stood on my stage, I would knock them out. I don’t care who it is, I would have knocked them out.

Corgan’s money quote was part of a larger, thoughtful discussion on how people are rewarded for negative behavior in the social media age, but why focus on that when the story can be “Billy Corgan would knock out Kanye West?” Not that Kanye didn’t deserve to get knocked out—he did. (West is also on a major charm offensive of late; he apologized to Beck and Bruno Mars for disrespecting them via his Twitter feed Thursday.)

Since we're focusing on Corgan saying he would knock out West, let's take the thought further and theorize who would win a fight between the two.

Photo credit: Stephen Chernin/Getty Images

Billy Corgan

Nicknames: The Great Pumpkin, DJ Ivory Tower
Height: 6'3"
Ego: Um, sizable
Notable Feuds: Marilyn Manson, Courtney Love, Radiohead, Anderson Cooper.

Quote: “I’m not pissing on Rainbow. I’m not pissing on Deep Purple. But I’ll piss on fuckin’ Radiohead, because of all this pomposity. This value system that says Jonny Greenwood is more valuable than Ritchie Blackmore. Not in the world I grew up in, buddy.”

Photo credit: Jerritt Clark/Getty Images

Kanye West

Nicknames: Ye, The Louis Vuitton Don, Yeezus, Yeezy, Kanye Kardashian-West.
Height: 5'8"
Ego: "Colossal" would be an understatement
Notable Feuds: Amber Rose, Justin Timberlake, the fashion industry.

Quote: “If Kim had dated me when I wanted, there would be no Amber Rose. It’s very hard for a woman to want to be with someone that’s with Amber Rose. So she wasn’t sending nothing. I had to take 30 showers before I got with Kim.”

Corgan has the advantage in reach and could use that to keep Kanye at bay initially, but he's also 10 years older than West. But Kanye is driven and won't quit unless he's knocked out. West is also from the South Side of Chicago and, as his stunts with Swift and Beck have shown, isn't against taking a few shots to the noggin to take down someone.

The winner? Us, for gawking at this if it ever happens.