Evil Genius Cobra Commander Given Keys To Springfield
By Margaret Paulson in News on Mar 13, 2015 5:30PM
In an unprecedented move— in advance of GIJoeCon coming to his city— J. Michael Houston, the mayor of Springfield, Illinois, handed over the keys to the city to one of the most dangerous men on Earth—Cobra Commander. We can’t be sure that our Springfield was the one gutted and taken over by Cobra Command in the 1980s as the base for its pyramid schemes, shady business dealings and eventual world takeover, but it seems Mayor Houston has very wittingly invited Springfield part 2.
Perhaps Mayor Houston has completely given up hope, due to recent civil unrest from Governor Rauner’s proposed budget cuts. But in actuality, it seems Cobra Command has had a presence in the city for a while. The first hints of Cobra’s infiltration cropped up in early March with nary a murmur from most citizens. See what we mean?
Actually, does anyone else think Governor Rauner might be Cobra Commander? It’s possible, considering no one but Destro and Baroness have ever seen his mug.
Either way, we think Cobra Command has been here since at least Feb. 1— it’s obvious they used the Weather Dominator to issue a massive Siberian snow blast that immobilized all of Illinois. Residents of Springfield were just too busy peeling icicles off of their eyelashes to notice.
Thankfully, GIJoeCon unleashes on Springfield starting April 9. This official collectors' convention features a Sales Room, a GI Joe Film Fest, a costume contest, an awards dinner and even non-GI Joe events like a tour of Abraham Lincoln's Springfield. The convention runs through April 12 at the Prairie Capital Convention Center. Hopefully Springfield is safe from chaos while the Real American Heroes are in town for GIJoeCon and they will protect our capital from the evil clutch of Cobra Command.