The Chicagoist will be launching later but in the meantime please enjoy our archives.

Shakespeare Emojis And Glasses For INFJs: The University Of Chicago's Scav Hunt Is On

By Rachel Cromidas in News on May 7, 2015 9:45PM

Unless you are in possession of a roller skate key, a cod-shaped cod-piece, a mythical Pennsylvanian squonk or 150 childhood sports trophies, you may want to avoid the University of Chicago campus this weekend.

It's that time of year again, when hundreds of University of Chicago students forsake their studies for four days to compete in what is arguably the world's largest scavenger hunt, organized by fellow students and alumni.

Anyone can participate, though teams are made up mostly of current students. The hunt began Thursday morning at midnight with the release of the annual list of more than 300 items that teams find, make or improvise for a panel of judges, who will dole out points and determine a winner Sunday afternoon.

Here are some the most absurd, confusing or Chicago-centric items that caught our eye from this year's list:

35. "Get a Chicago-area brewery or distillery to officially declare the University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt the world's largest and provide the appropriate certificate [11 percent ABV points]"

67. "Have a meteorologist announce, on live television, that your team makes it rain. [Channel 9 WGN points]"

98. "Design a new font that manages to convey emotion with every letter: Tragic Sans. [8 incredibly depressing points]"

128. "Send one (1) team member to Judgment who can beatbox the sound of the normal human heart. Then, beatbox a crescendo-decrescendo arrhythmia, a pediatric atrial flutter, a midsystolic click, and Dick Cheney’s heart. [5 points]"

132. "The death of Hot Doug’s has us jonesing for some intriguing sausage. Get your mind out of the gutter! All we’re saying is, so many cities, states, and countries have an encased meat that’s just the pride of their geographical region! Show that their mayors, governors, and/or presidents agree by making their faces out of sausages common to their regions. [2.5 points per recognizable face, maximum 5 faces]"

136. "A set of emoji expressing the entirety of a Shakespeare soliloquy. We should be able to recognize the soliloquy without guidance. [To three or not to three points]"

153. "You may be a part of the so-called “Everyone Gets a Trophy” generation, but you knew all along those 5-year old soccer gimmes were really just setting you up to win the main game. Bring as many youth sports trophies as you can muster to Judgment. Medals and plaques mean squat. [0.1 points per trophy up to 150 trophies]"

157. "How did “Jackson Park Express” not get a music video!? [6 bus points]" (Note: This item likely refers to "Weird Al" Yankovic's 2014 ode to street harassment on the CTA's #6 Bus.)

175. "Junior Park Rangers, unite! We know that you got your badge when you went to National Parks, and now it’s time to fulfill your duties! Find and capture these invasive species in the Chicago area: Emerald Ash Borer, Gypsy Moth, and an Asian Longhorned Beetle. [3 points for a dead specimen; 7 points for a live one]"

196. "An official cheese board from The National September 11 Memorial Museum. [20.01 points]"

210. "Sick of your colleagues snickering when you slip a tampon up the sleeve of your dress shirt to walk to the bathroom? End them by creating a Spider-Man-style web shooter—for tampons! Should shoot multiple tampons that explode in red glitter upon impact. [12 points, period!]"

264. "Broadcast an FCC-Compliant Pirate Pirate Radio station from your headquarters. At some point between 2:00 and 3:00 p.m. on Saturday, the Angstiest Judge will ride by on their bike with a radio and must hear music or a talk show. No points if ye station be not true to its nature. [19 points]"

284. "Eyes may be the windows to the soul, but us INFJs need private time. Fix up your glasses with a li’l curtain rod and some fancy-ass drapes to close during moments of social anxiety. [5 points]"

292. "These days, the Cookie Monster reminds children that cookies are a 'sometimes food,' but let’s hear what Muppet Harold the Fried Chicken Monster King has to say about his favorite food. [12 points]"

318. "Ian Ziering and friends have stopped Sharknadoes in Los Angeles, New York, and wherever the third one’s going to happen, but how will they possibly get past the bureaucracy of sharks in the 1.5 minute trailer for Sharknado 4: Shark NATO? [6 points]"