Vampire Comedy 'Bloodsucking Bastards' Lacks Bite
By Joel Wicklund in Arts & Entertainment on Sep 3, 2015 8:30PM
© 2015 Bloodsucking Productions, under exclusive license to Shout! Factory, LLC
They say timing is everything in comedy, but the new "splatstick" vampire movie, Bloodsucking Bastards, makes a counter argument. The cast's timing is perfect—the movie barrels along with precision, setting up gag after gag. The problem is, the gags are only hit and miss, with more misses, and the filmmaking is a bland serving of couch-and-a-six-pack style. It's not a bad movie, really, just a forgettable one.
The cast does its best to lift the movie above ordinariness and in its better moments, they succeed. Fran Kranz, who made a memorable impression as the wise stoner nerd in Cabin in the Woods, is more or less the straight man in the lead, but his offbeat comic charisma serves the role well. He plays Evan, a dedicated cubicle drone at a soul-draining office. Expecting a big promotion, he instead finds out the job he had coveted has been given to an old enemy.
The newcomer also happens to be a vampire, so soon most of the company has either been turned into lunch for the undead or joined their ranks. After deciphering the drastic changes in their workplace, Evan, his slacker pal (Joey Kern), his recently jilted ex-girlfriend (Emma Fitzpatrick), and a handful of others try to free the office from the management of the damned.
That's a good premise. The press notes accurately describe it as Office Space meets Shaun of the Dead, though Bloodsucking Bastards never comes close to those lofty role models.
It's not a humorless endeavor, thankfully. A big laugh comes early in a flashback that shows Evan's one-word disaster of a response when his girlfriend says she loves him. And the office security guard gets a golden moment when he boasts of his vampire-killing talents, "You don't get this badge without dusting a few puncture monkeys."
A few other gags connect, but the script, co-written by the L.A. comedy troupe Dr. God, ultimately leaves its talented players (including several Dr. God members) stranded, failing to deliver on the early promise. Director Brian James O'Connell, also a Dr. God member, adds no filmmaking finesse to compensate for the so-so writing. He seems to have aimed for a TV sketch show style—content to basically capture the action and pick up the pacing in the editing. The climax is particularly poorly executed, with almost random changes in perspective and erratic framing.
I'm sure people will enjoy this movie. It might be far more amusing if one stumbled upon it during late-night channel surfing...especially if the aforementioned couch and six-pack combo is part of that experience. But coming to something with lower expectations isn’t the best defense for a movie, especially when the ingredients for something stronger all seemed to be in place.
Bloodsucking Bastards. Directed by Brian James O'Connell. Written by Dr. God and Ryan Mitts. Starring Fran Kranz, Joey Kern and Emma Fitzpatrick. 84 mins. No MPAA rating.
Director Brian James O'Connell, producer/actor Justin Ware and actor Parvesh Cheena will appear for a Q&A before a 10:30 p.m. showing of the movie at Facets Cinémathèque on Friday, Sept. 4. Facets will also show the movie again at 10:30 p.m. on Saturday, September 5.
Bloodsucking Bastards also opens Friday, Sept. 4 at the AMC South Barrington 30 and is also available through various video-on-demand services.