The New York Times Insults The Midwest's Favorite Apple

By Anthony Todd in Food on Nov 5, 2015 3:10PM

The New York Times is the arbiter of all things cultural, tasteful and important in our great country. Wait, just kidding—they're people from the East Coast who pass judgment on the rest of us (and have something of a history of not really getting the Midwest). But now they've just gone too far: They've insulted the honeycrisp apple.

In case you aren't familiar, the honeycrisp is, simply put, the most delicious apple ever. Seriously. There are signs at farmers markets every year weeks in advance of the harvest all over the city—"honeycrisps are coming!" It's a relatively new apple, developed in Minnesota and released in 1991, and is sweet, only slightly tart and, as the name implies, it has a crisp, juicy snap when you bite into it.

Apparently the one that the New York Times got was... not so great.

Honeycrisp, introduced in 1991 by the University of Minnesota, set the standard for crispness, juiciness and upscale pricing. But for all its popularity, the apple is soft, quickly dissolving in the mouth. Its flavor is inconsistent and fades in long storage, and it is maddeningly difficult to grow.

Oh no they didn't.

For background, this was in the context of an article about hot new apple varieties, so we understand why the author had to do this—there's no need for a piece on the hot new apple varieties unless the existing ones have a problem. Except honeycrisps aren't soft, their flavor doesn't fade in storage and they have a great crunch.

People all over Minnesota lost their minds. The Star-Tribune interviewed apple growers across the state, all of whom disagreed with the Times. Twitter also was not happy:

.@nytimes now you've gone & poked the passive-aggressive hyper-territorial bear that is MN. Beyond Honeycrisp Apple https://t.co/S4gkheQCqm

— Lars Leafblad (@larsleafblad) November 5, 2015

never settle for apples that aren't Honeycrisp

— ivy sandstrom (@ivsand) November 4, 2015

My home state displays our unending pride once more- don't mess with our Honeycrisp! https://t.co/aIampqfwvb @joewhitson

— Maddie Gardner (@maddiegardner) November 5, 2015

What a load of shit. Honeycrisp apples are "soft, quickly dissolving in the mouth." Flavor is "inconsistent " https://t.co/yYafnX3qjJ

— Peter Frost (@peterfrost) November 5, 2015

It's entirely possible that someone at Chicagoist jumped on this pretty quickly.

New York Times, you can pry my honeycrisp apples from my cold dead apple-juicy hands

— Anthony Todd (@FoodieAnthony) November 5, 2015

We're gonna go have an apple for breakfast now.