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Please Don't Put Liquid Smoke In Your Bourbon To Make It Taste Older

By Anthony Todd in Food on Nov 10, 2015 5:54PM

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Photo via shutterstock.
These days, everything requires a hack. You can hack your job, hack your brain, hack your sleep schedule and hack your love life. But keep your damn hacks away from my bourbon, or things are going to get ugly.

The Huffington Post reviewed a copy of a new book from America's Test Kitchen (the ultimate in food hacks, by the way), entitled "Kitchen Hacks: How Clever Cooks Get Things Done." One suggestion in the book: how to "instantly age cheap bourbon." I've got a few books from America's Test Kitchen, and I love them all, but some things are sacred. Feel free to tell me how to fry bacon or slice pizza better (two subjects apparently opined on in this book), but this suggestion went beyond the pale.

They suggest mixing dry sherry, vanilla extract and liquid smoke (yup, liquid smoke) into a cheap bottle of bourbon to make it taste more expensive.

Let's go into the reasons why this seems like a bad idea.

First, it doesn't quite work, even according to the author of the post.

So did it work? Yes and no—in our test, we found that while it certainly added a more complex flavor profile to the otherwise astringent cheap stuff, it wasn't enough to quite cut that burn down to the smooth finish that's offered by the more expensive bottles.

Second, mixing ingredients into inexpensive liquor in order to make it taste less cheap is called . . . making a cocktail. You think that cranberry juice in your well vodka is there to provide antioxidants?

In fact, the ingredients in this aren't all that different from some manhattan variations we've had lately—one ingredient each to add a vanilla note, a bitter note and a complicated note. Plus, my favorite manhattan whiskey costs about $14 a bottle. Mix up a nice cocktail, leave your bottle of bourbon alone, and rather than "hacking" anything, you'll just be a cool person wearing a vest and holding a shaker.

Finally, any bourbon purist would have a heart attack at the thought of putting liquid smoke into their booze. If you're looking for fancier bourbon, save up and buy some, or take a look at some of these amazing bargains, which include brands bottled in bond and other bottom shelf whiskeys that are actually pretty awesome.

The only hack I want in my whiskey? An ice cube.