Can You Make A Fancy French Terrine From A Chicago Style Hot Dog?

By Anthony Todd in Food on Dec 1, 2015 8:30PM

If you're not subscribed to The Pizzle, you're missing out. Food writer (and hero, and self-deprecating funny man) Dennis Lee comes up with the most ridiculous ways to torture both himself and food, while engaging in some seriously obscene writing. If you're easily offended, don't click through. He's done everything from make empenadas out of play doh to taste-testing flavored condoms, but today's entry was special to the heart of any Chicagoan: he created a fancy terrine out of a Chicago-style hot dog, and it might even be edible.

While most of the essay is played for laughs, the bottom line is this—Lee takes every single ingredient in a classic Chicago hot dog, layers it with gelatin in a terrine dish and sees what happens. The final product? I'm not sure i'd like to eat it, but it's definitely a sight to behold, and frankly, with some tweaking it could be a real fine dining darling. In fact, I'm willing to predict that within a year, you'll be paying $18 for a plate of this at some fancy restaurant, and, when you do, you can blame Dennis.

Let's let Dennis have the last word.

And man, this thing tastes as hilarious as it looks. There’s nothing like the mealy texture of cold hot dogs encased in hot dog water gelatin. The pickle spears cut through the richness of the emulsified meat product, the pickle relish adds sweetness, the tomato brings freshness, the onions provide a sharp acrid bite, and the spicy sport peppers punch your culinary balls with heat. The whole thing is finished off with tart mustard and grassy celery salt, along with the humiliation that you just made this awful piece of shit.