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Cards Against Humanity Sends 55 Gallons Of Lube To Oregon Militia

By Mae Rice in News on Jan 18, 2016 3:38PM

The lube beat in Chicago has been oddly bumping lately, and today is no exception. Max Temkin, owner of Cards Against Humanity, has ordered a 55-gallon drum of lube— “Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant,” to be exact—for the dangerously dumb and armed militia occupying an Oregon wildlife refuge.

It’s a fitting gift. The militia, which has been occupying Malhuer Wildlife Refuge since early January to show the federal government… something, has been inundated with gift dildos.

One militia member, Jon Ritzheimer, recently made a Facebook post asking people to stop sending “this ridiculous stuff.”

One dildo he gestures towards appears to be, like, literally a foot long.

It's sad that there are people who would spend this kind of money on this rather than spending it to do good in the world. I'm done living in fear of an oppressing force. I'm going to uphold my oath to the Constitution and sleep great at night knowing that I did everything in my power to ensure what our founding fathers did for us will not be lost. To my family, I love you very much and I am sorry I can't be there with you. Please look at this as a deployment, only this time I'm actually serving my country rather than being sent over seas to line the pockets of corrupt politicians. It is our sacrifice as a family that will make this country great again, not some election. And we are not alone. I am among some of the most honorable, and selfless people I have ever met. People who are dedicated to making the same sacrifice for this country. Read the constitution people. Get educated and don't let your rights be taken. If your a Patriot and you feel the calling in your heart then all I can say is follow your heart. Don't let the fear consume you. We all have lives but if we don't make the sacrifice what kind of country are we leaving for our children. The status quo can't go on any longer. We either take a stand against tyranny or we fail. Come be a part of history. And I am so proud that our country has become civilized enough that we can bring about change and right this wrong without any bloodshed. America is blessed.

Posted by Jon Ritzheimer on Monday, January 11, 2016

Hopefully Cards Against Humanity’s lube, which cost over $1,000, will make for safer exploration.