Photos: The Best, Weirdest And Most Disgusting Candy At The Sweets & Snacks Expo

By Rachel Cromidas in Food on Jun 1, 2016 7:15PM

Bare Banana Chips Anthony: I hate it. It's like they took everything good about the banana out and added cocoa. Rachel: I was so excited for this—who wouldn't love freeze dried banana chips, which are delicious, seasoned with cocoa powder? But it tastes so bad. And you won't be able to spit it out because it gets stuck in your teeth. Mae: That cocoa tastes like dirt.

Retro Nuts Rachel: Peanut is definitely the most retro of nuts, so I'll give them that. I like the crunch of the outer coating around the peanut. Mae and Anthony: Sorry, it tastes like nothing.

Banda Naan Chips with mango sauce Rachel: The vendor recommended putting that mango sauce on Portillo's hot dogs. Suuuuure. As for the naan chips: Well, it's a bread chip, big whoop. Anthony: The bag says "Indian flavors, American taste." What?!? The mango sauce is bad. Just spicy, no mango. My mouth is burning. Mae: Oh no, no uh uh. That is not food.

Pocky, cookies and cream flavor Anthony: This tastes exactly like a Hershey cookies and cream candy bar. It's the first thing so far that I want a second of. Rachel: It just looks fun. It's sweet, and it tastes like an Oreo. Mae: It tastes exactly how you think it will taste. Unlike that mango thing.

RC Snackle, white chocolate cranberry popcorn Rachel: that's my candy expo rapper name: RC Snackle. Ew, I hate that smell—there's a strong cranberry smell wafting from the box. Anthony: It smells like my grandmother's basement.

Full disclosure: We didn't try these.

Saltwater Taffy, carrot cake flavor Anthony: Yuck, that was terrible. The texture was wrong, so it didn't have the right texture for saltwater taffy. It slides around in my mouth. And it just tastes like nutmeg-flavored taffy. Mae: Carrot cake is already a thing on it's own. It doesn't need this.

Pickled jalapeño slices Mae: The smell that's starting to come out of the bag is not promising. Let's leave it at that.

Albaneese orange creamsicle gummy bears Anthony: It's like a regular jellybean that's been massaged. It's softer than normal gummy bears. Mae: This is so weird. It does taste like a dreamsicle!

Salt and vinegar crickets Rachel: I like the salt and vinegar flavoring—it adds flavor to the bug without making any attempt to hide the fact that you're eating a bug. But word of warning: the legs are pointy on the way down.

Chocolate covered worms and crickets Rachel: Think of it like a chocolate covered gummy worm. Except, that crunch at the end is your reminder that you're eating a real, true, dehydrated worm. The white and milk chocolate coating is bland and chalky, but I would eat these again. Maybe.

U Gotta Be Nutz pistachio nuts, balsamic habanero flavor Anthony: I taste neither habanero nor balsamic. Rachel: Oh no, I really taste that balsamic. it tastes like it's gone bad.

Stacy's Pita Chips, new Fire Roasted Jalapeño flavor Rachel: It says "real jalapeño baked in." I can see it, but I can't taste it. I'll stick to Stacy's cinnamon-flavored chips. Mae: It's very hardy. Like, one chip is an entire snack.

Cosmos Creations , Sriracha-flavored puffed corn Mae: They're softer, and not as crunchy as you would expect. Rachel: Like an off-brand Pirate's Booty with a garden-vegetable flavor. Not Sriracha, not at all. Anthony: This tastes like styrofoam packing peanuts that they put chipotle on.

"Hi, I'm Skinny Quinoa Sticks" Anthony: I have never in my life seen a package with more buzz words on it. It has chia seeds, ancient grains, it's non-GMO, a 100-calorie bag. They're delicious, but I don't know why I'd eat them instead of 100 calories of any other chip. Rachel: No protein? But that's the whole point of eating quinoa.

Palo Popcorn, bacon-flavored A: they took popcorn and made it so unhealthy. This one bag has 34 grams of popcorn and 60% of your daily saturated fat allotment. Only 190 calories—and all of those calories are from saturated fat. R: no bacon flakes, pass. Oh, but I taste the bacon. But I would have wanted bacon fat to be used in the production of this, or bacon flakes. M: If you want bacon that much, just eat bacon.

Pop Chips, Ridges, chili cheese flavor; Mae: It really tastes like chili cheese! Rachel: The ridges are too reminiscent of Ruffles for me. I know this is supposed to be a healthier alternative, but it's too uncanny. Pop Chips, Ridges, cheddar and sour cream flavor Rachel: I am really not a fan of getting cheddar powder all over me when I'm eating, but it does live up to the flavor. Mae: I like it, but it is over-flavored.

Palmer's candies pumpkin pretzels Anthony: This smells like a Yankee Candle, and tastes like one. This also says it contains 150 percent of your daily allotment of saturated fat! Mae: I like it. I like the sweet and salty mix, and the pumpkin [flavor] is unnecessary, but fine. Rachel: Ew, no. The pumpkin coating is getting on my hands. It tastes like a bad Halloween party.

Chef's Cut, Sriracha uncured bacon jerky Anthony: Wow, they tried real hard with that one. Rachel: I like the idea, but not the execution. It's too sweet to be Sriracha. Mae: What is with these sweet jerkies? I want a salty-ass jerky.

Emojeez Anthony: I try to pick one favorite candy name each year of the expo, and I still remember when I discovered Go Go Squeeze. But Emojeez may be my favorite candy name ever. Rachel: I will never eat a gummy candy again, but I can appreciate the relatively-accurate emoji-shapes. I could see people using them to communicate with each other, like those Valentine's Day candy hearts.

Cinnamon Kiss Rachel: Another emoji-themed item, joy. Anthony: How are they? Terrible. I feel like I'm eating cinnamon flavored chalk...with a kerosene after taste. Nothing emoji about them at all. But if they had different faces on them I would like them more.

New Snickers Crisper Anthony: That's a winner. With a normal Snickers bar, I'm kind of iffy on the peanuts. This replaces the peanuts with delicious toasted rice. But why name it Crisper instead of "Crispier?" Rachel: Maybe they're trying to trick you into thinking it's a vegetable. As in "vegetable crisper."

Perky Jerky, new Pale Ale flavor Anthony: The package says this is "the best tasting jerky on earth, guaranteed." Well. The beer part is kind of uncomfortable, actually. Because of the turkey flavor, it tastes like I'm throwing up beer in my mouth. It's not terrible, they're on to something, but not quite there yet. Rachel: It is too sweet. And oh, that after taste. Mae: The color is unsettling too.

Sour Farts Anthony: They're little balls of citric acid. Mae: This is fun. I don't know why they're called farts. Anthony: They're just sour Nerds. Mae: Well, we did it. We ate farts.

Nudi Snacks, sweet Thai chili coconut chips Anthony: I've never seen this phrase before on a container: "Packed in a protective atmosphere." I feel like it went to a really expensive private school. Mae: I really like these, they taste so good! It's not as sweet as you would think. I would just pour these into my mouth from the bag. Rachel: I would put these on a salad. The chips are too small to eat by hand.

Hungry Buddha, Smokin' Sriracha coconut chips Anthony: Oh god, this narrative: "Our mission is to feed the need of life enthusiasts by offering them innovative snacks." They're more dry than the last ones, and too much powder. Not flavorful. Mae: They did not do as good of a job treating the coconut to come out like a snack chip. Rachel: More coconut-y, but in a bad way.

Brussel Bytes Anthony: Listen to the buzzwords on this bag: "Chili pumpkin seed crunch, gluten-free, organic, non-GMO vegan, live food." Live food makes it sound like they're going to jump out of the bag when I open it. Mae: Looks like a booger, tastes like a kale chip. Anthony: Looks like a kale chip, with the added funk of the Brussel sprout. Rachel: I want to mix these with the bacon jerky and make a delicious candy expo salad.

Chic-A-Peas, salsa-flavored Anthony: There's no flavoring whatsoever, and I don't think they're crispy enough. Rachel: Wow, no, you're right. Too mushy, and if it's going to be that mushy it shouldn't be so dense. Mae: Worse than just eating chickpeas.

Simply Protein Decadent Bar Rachel: This boasts the most protein for the least calories... compared to the brand's other bars. Anthony: Apparently "it's the perfect 3 p.m. snack." It looks like a Rice Krispie Treat. It's a square-shaped Luna bar. Rachel: I like it. I'm tasting peanut. It's not too sweet. It's pretty boring, but that's fine. If you are that concerned about protein then you're also pretty boring, so it's good for its demographic.

Flaver, coffee Mae: Ew ew ew. It tastes like grass. Anthony: I don't think there's anything else to say. When I saw the backwards "e" in "flaver," I was right. My impression was correct.

The Good Bean Anthony: This is crunchy like it's supposed to be. Rachel: It has no flavoring, but none advertised, so that's OK. Mae: It's definitely better than the other chickpea snack products.

The Legendary Hatfield & McCoy Spicy Revenge Bacon Jerky Anthony: The flavor is good. Oddly crispy. I would buy this. Rachel: It's sweet, it's got the right texture. Very spicy, but not overwhelming.

Flaver, Lime Chipotle Anthony: My pet peeve is when people try to take words in English and turn them into a brand name like this. Ow—don't try to chew it. It tastes like a margarita-flavored Nerd. Rachel: Oh gross. I'm getting the lime and the chipotle but there's something else there, too. Anthony: Modified food starch?

Jelly Beans, organic Anthony: It's just like regular jellybeans, but more pretentious. They taste exactly the same. Maybe that's a good thing. But "made with real juices and purees" doesn't make me excited to eat this one, it makes me worried to eat the regular jelly beans.

Awake Bars Anthony: This is the only chocolate I've seen that has a daily maximum on the label! Holy moly. It's jut dark chocolate, but I'm glad they've got a marketing scheme. Rachel: I really like dark chocolate, and this is not dark enough. Mae: It's just like, so unremarkable. Rachel: The caramel one is much better. That's genuinely delicious.

Brookside Goji berry and raspberry flavors Anthony: It is a Raisinette, but not as good. Mae: I feel like it is as good as a Raisinette, but I don't like Raisinettes that much, so who cares?

Kafe, coffee flavored candy Anthony: It tastes like a Keurig just went off in my mouth. But I'm okay with it.

Bounce Anthony: It doesn't bounce, just saying. it is labeled an energy ball, which doesn't make me want to eat it. It's a Fig Newton that they put coconut on the outside of, instead of the cookie. Mae: I would eat this if I was really starving and hiking. Rachel: This one has a strong lemon smell. I don't hate it. Mae: It's like a pot brownie without the brownie, or the pot. I would need like a gallon of water to eat the whole thing.

Potato Puff, wasabi Anthony: I really like it, but it is like, smack-you-in-the-face wasabi. Best qualities of eating horseradish and eating a Pringle combined, which for me is a good thing. Rachel: Good wasabi flavor, but I'm not getting any potato from it.

Somebody's Mother's chocolate sauce Anthony: It's chocolate sauce. It's fine, I just don't know what I would ever do with it. Mae: Put it on ice cream.

The Little Kernel Mini Popcorn, Truffle Flavored Anthony: This is both good and not popped in coconut oil! It's definitely in the top three. We're ending on a high note.

Our 2016 candy haul.

Chicago played host to the behemoth trade show known as the Sweets & Snacks Expo for another year this past week, and we were on-hand to sample (okay, stuff our faces) with the newest and "most innovative" products to be found on the trade-show floor.

We rounded up about 50 of the most intriguing and peculiar featured products, including freeze-dried crickets, Sriracha-flavored coconut and cheddar cheese-dusted Pop Chips, and pulled in three taste-testing experts to weigh in. Full disclosure: those "experts" also happen to be our Food Editor Anthony Todd, Associate Editor Mae Rice and me, whom we could call Chicagoist's very picky eater-in-chief.

You can click through the gallery above to read our reviews of each product, and check out our top five (below). You may also notice some trends emerging; we did: Coconut chips and coconut oil were big this year, as was the label "non-GMO." Popular flavors ranged from "sweet chili" and "chili lime" to Korean BBQ, Jalapeño and bacon. All bacon everything? We'll take it.

Chicagoist's Top 5 Favorite Sweet & Snack Expo Takeaways:

*Snickers Crisper
*Spicy Revenge Bacon
*The Little Kernel Truffle Popcorn
*Nudi Snacks' Sweet Thai Chili Coconut Chips
*Wonderfully Raw Chili Pumpkin Seed Crunch Brussel Bytes

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