A Restaurant Called Pink Taco Set To Make River North Grosser Still

By Stephen Gossett in Food on Apr 20, 2017 8:53PM

Get it?! Ugh. (Facebook)

We love this city, so we don't mine much glee from kicking any of Chicago's fine neighborhoods. But when River North goes and reinforces its status as one of the city's preeminent douche vortices by attracting tenants like this, well...

Looking like the embodiment of regrettable life decisions in the form of a restaurant, Pink Taco has announced plans to expand its brand of just-joshin' misogyny (judging from that name) and no-doubt authentic Mexican fare to River North. First reported by Crain's (who usually plays it straight down the center but couldn't resist calling the 'hood "the bro-centric nightlife capital of Chicago" in such a context), the infection expansion will spread to 162 West Hubbard Street, at the corner of Wells. It'll encompass a massive 9,600-square-foot space with a wraparound patio, so you can aggressively proposition other patrons for tequila shots outside, too! (The space was formerly occupied by Bull & Bear.) The menu will have "signature" tacos, margaritas, salads and taco bowls, and a taco truck will descend on the area ahead of the opening.

"We are excited to introduce Pink Taco to Chicago... and see this expansion as the next step in our plans to elevate the brand rapidly across the nation," said Mike Zoob, Pink Taco Vice President of Real Estate, said in a press release. Woo, brand expansion!

Pink Taco's name took the flak it was likely cynically intended to generate and monetize when it garnered complaints when it expanded to Scottsdale, Arizona in 2006. (That location has since closed.) And according to my Wikipedia sleuthing, it got raked by The Daily Show with John Stewart that same year when President and CEO Harry Morton told Ed Helms that his restaurants would have "vaginas all over the walls" if they were in fact "vagina-themed."

Now, if you'll excuse us, we're gonna go scrub from having written that name so many times.