Lollapalooza Has Made The Metra A Hellscape Of Loud Teens
By Mae Rice in Arts & Entertainment on Aug 3, 2017 8:00PM
Chicagoland's public transit systems are ostensibly prepared for Lollapalooza weekend. The Metra and the CTA are "adding service and expanding capacity," according to a confident-sounding press release, written by someone who has never met a suburban teen ready to party. Let alone a thousand of them.
But today, the Metra is full of these teens. They are all yelling!
Brave Chicago journalist (and former Chicagoist contributor) Joe Erbentraut, who is not a tween, tweeted an incredible thread from a Metra train that doubled as a circle of hell. It begins:
Metra conductor just announced "this is NOT a party train" to a train full of suburban #Lolla teens, they just yelled, in unison: YES IT IS!— joe erbentraut (@robojojo) August 3, 2017
Here's some video from the train, if you thought he was joking:
Over at On the Metra, other riders echo Erbentraut's account:
The Meta really could just turn into a rat-king of teens... pretty much anytime:
But there's hope! This thread is full of survival tips.
If anybody has any Lolla tips for Metra riders, now wd be a good time. #Metrapalooza— OnTheMetra (@OnTheMetra) August 3, 2017
Let sleeping Lolla riders lie. #Metrapalooza— OnTheMetra (@OnTheMetra) August 3, 2017
Headphones and air freshener— (((HenryT))) (@HenryT) August 3, 2017
And, maybe the best advice of all:
Work from home— Juli Rowen (@Juli_Rowen) August 3, 2017
It's not like the Metra has never been total anarchy before—once I saw it an absolute madhouse after a James Taylor concert at Ravinia! Not a teen in sight!—but just in case you wanted official word: the Metra is teeming with teens today, and they are very excited about bands.