Photo: Cubs' Jake Arrieta's Face Is Naked & We Don't Know Him Anymore
By Emma G. Gallegos in Arts & Entertainment on Oct 23, 2017 10:40PM
Who is this guy with Jake Arrieta's wife? (Brittany Arrieta/Twitter)
We don't have any right to say how a man decides to groom his facial hair and yet, we must say the sight of a hairless Jake Arrieta is quite jarring. The Cubs ace pitcher shaved off his trademark beard to mark the end of the Cubs' season.
It is said that beards are on their way out by a cabal of trendsetting writers in New York, as they are little more than a cheap trick for men who have never hoisted an axe to split wood and who spend most of their time staring at spreadsheets during their day job to telegraph masculinity and primal strength. The Wall Street Journal is not lying when they say that "far from standing out for their scruff, bearded men have become almost boringly normal."
And yet! Arrieta has an arm that could be worth as much as $200 million and he is in his third decade of life, but without a beard, he looks like your average college bro trying to scalp tickets in Wrigleyville. Some men just look better with beards! CBS Chicago calls it "acclaimed" in a headline and who are we to argue?
Jake Arrieta has to stay in Chicago now that we all know he actually just looks like every single white Chicago bro https://t.co/ZmwjQ1Xxpy— Lindsey Adler (@lindseyadler) October 23, 2017
Since Arrieta joined the Cubs, he has grown in a beard ahead of spring training and like clockwork shaved it off during off-season, making him unrecognizable. Which, now that I think about it, might actually be the whole point.
In any case, Mrs. Arrieta seems happy: