Stolpman is in Europe for the next two weeks (lucky), so I'll be handling the recap duties until she gets back. Fear not, dear readers, for those of you who'll miss her as much as I do right now, I have two words for you.

Balloon knot.

That's out of the way. Let's get to recapping. For some, the thought of Tom Coliccho sneaking into your home and waking you up may be unnerving. For others it could be included on the list of what gets us going. Either way, that's what he's doing to our remaining chefs as he rouses them for the quickfire challenge at Lou Mitchell's.

That involves each chef working "the Hole" (the egg station) under the watchful gaze of owner Helene. We get to see the pile of hash browns over steam which, with all due respect to Nagrant, is as it should be. I'd be skeptical of a diner that didn't have hash browns over steam. The egg poaching water, however, freaks me out.

Antonia rocks the Hole with all the confidence of a single mother. You just know she's done this before, only holding an infant. Stephanie, as per her up-and-down quickfire performances, loses an egg in the Mists of Down Below that is the poaching water. Lisa is sabotaged again, this time by a self-immolating to-go box. Spike (who comes across more each week like that guy at your high school reunion who's claims to have done everything you have but better) keeps reminding us that he started out as a short order cook. I'm sure the others have similar stories, but Spike wears the fancy hats, so his has gravitas.

Antonia wins the quickfire challenge. Tom then gives the chefs an address to meet up with Padma and gets in line for donut holes.

Elimination Challenge: The chefs arrive at a warehouse to find Padma, who probably made a weed buy while waiting for the contestants to arrive. And we're going Ghetto Gourmet for the challenge with Restaurant Wars. The chefs have five hours to set up a gastropub. Antonia, because she wants to win, picks Richard and Stephanie as her teammates. Which means viewers get the anticipated Dale/Lisa reunion. Looking at my notes after the teams were chosen I wrote, "This is so not a fair matchup." But I could be wrong.

I'm not. The teams are given $1,500 for food and another five grand to buy furnishings at Pier One. Antonia, Richard, and Steph bounce ideas around and call their restaurant Warehouse Kitchen, with Stephanie working Front of House, Antonia as Executive Chef. Team "Can't Work Together," with Spike working FOH (Dale called dibs on executive chef), calls their concept Mai Buddha because they all specialize in Asian elements. You just get the feeling that karma is gonna bite Mai Buddha in their collective ass. Spike VO's that the infighting that tanked he, Dale and Lisa during the wedding challenge needs to stop. But as soon as he heads to Pier One, Dale and Lisa are circling each other looking for a weakness.

More bad karma for Mai Buddha as BOURDAIN shows up to fill in for Tom. He grills the teams on their gastropub concepts, plans, and generally flogs them. Upon hearing that Team "CWT" named their concept Mai Buddha, BOURDAIN says that, having eaten his way across the largest continent, he expects great results. Must have the same doubts they can pull this off as I, especially when lisa declares she's making shrimp laksa.

The teams are given extra help in the form of previously eliminated contestants. Team "CWT" chooses Jen, who'll probably dedicate this to Zoi. Meanwhile, Team Warehouse Kitchen takes Nikki and promptly sets her to work making pasta. If she does a real good job at it and stays out of the way, Antonia will let her lick the batter off the egg beaters. Meanwhile, guest judge José Andrés arrives to ratchet up the nerves even more. Richard's weakness (seafood) rears its ugly head again, and Team Warehouse Kitchen quickly removes the grit from the clams they plan to use in their appetizer.

Showtime, and the contrast of the two restaurants couldn't be more evident. Steph's Scylla experience serves Team Warehouse Kitchen well, as everything flows smoothly. The orange and dark wood accents complement the warehouse space beautifully. Team "CWT" rises to the déor challenge with a silver tablecloth, purple napkin color scheme that has BOURDAIN cracking Prince jokes.

The proof, as always, is in the cooking. On that note, Team Warehouse Kitchen smokes "CWT." The judges love both the flavor and presentation of the menu, save for Richard's banana scallops, which prompts a poo-poo line from BOURDAIN. "CWT" takes it on the chin. And the gut. And a real low blow for mango sticky rice ("vomit with wood chips"). It is, as they say, a rout in favor of Team Warehouse Kitchen.

Stephanie, for embracing grace under pressure at FOH (although with that plunging neckline on her dress she can work my FOH anytime) wins the challenge and gets a trip to Spain. Dale, Spike and Lisa commence with the blame game. As Spike and Dale grow more defensive, Lisa takes her usual stance - arms crossed, slight sneer, looking like she might just shed some blood if she's told to leave.

After more back and forth, Lady Rushdie unsuccessfully clears the fog from her head and asks Dale to pack his knives and leave. Yup. Dale. And if you think the look on Dale's face expressed the shock of the decision, take a look at Richard, who looked like he was punched in the gut.

Seriously, y'all. This season has just entered the realm of "the Durham Bulls can't lose and I can't get laid." We're talking true Bizarro world. I had Dale penciled in for top three, and I know I'm not alone. Instead, the very real - and frightening - possibility arises that Lisa could realistically sneer her way into at least the top four in Puerto Rico.

We'll see what happens next week.