Bolingbrook's Most Moronic

No, it's not even Drew Peterson. This time, it's 58-year-old John A. Pighee Jr., who tried to have his Bank of America branch shut down after they denied him access to his funds thanks to an out-of-state lien. Rather than, say, calling the bank's customer service line or trying to hash things out with the bank's manager, he tried to get back at them by "disrupting their business," which he did in the form of reporting a fake bank robbery to police. But rather than giving some made-up description of the made-up robber, Pighee described himself. Officers responding to the call contacted employees inside who were unaware of Pighee's call. Eventually, officers took Pighee into custody and have charged him with a felony charge of disorderly conduct. Bolingbrook Police Dept. Lieutenant Ken Teppel said, "Because he did not imply he had a weapon or gun, did not have a weapon, and did not ask for money, there is no charge for bank robbery."