So You've Decided To Get Swine Flu...
By Karl Klockars in Miscellaneous on Apr 30, 2009 8:45PM
We get it. Wash your hands. Cover your mouth. Stay home if you feel sick. The collective swine flu freakout has a bunch of us home from school, off of work, and generally playing sick-hooky. If you're trapped inside on a boring gray Thursday, here's a short list of possible sick-day activities.
- Learn to knit - and then stitch yourself a personalized surgical mask.
- Keep saying to yourself, "It's not the pork that made me sick," and treat yourself to some sweet, sweet swine! Start with some pork belly, then move onto carnitas, and then headcheese for the most adventurous diners..
- Start reading Stephen King's "The Stand." Captain Trips, baby. Captain Trips. Some call it tube-neck.
- Twitter your current symptoms. "@swineflu - got the sniffles and fever is oncoming. You bastard!"
- Get caught up on your Poly Sci homework.
- Re-read Mike Sula's James Beard-nominated series, The Whole Hog Project.
- Then read some Winnie the Pooh.
- Watch airplane stocks tumble thanks to Joe Biden's Today Show appearance.
- Play "Pin the Curly Tail on the Viral Vector."
- Take a cue from the Flight of the Conchords show on Tuesday, where they said "Stop thinking so much about yourself. What about all those poor pigs with the flu?"
- Be glad you're not an actual pig in Egypt.
- Or make like the rest of the internet and start a blog about bacon.
Not sure if you've got swine flu or not? It's always best to let your doctor be sure, but if you can't afford a trip to your local Urgent Care office, just click here.