It Came From Beneath The Candy Expo - The Worst of 2010

Another example of linguistic hell. Naming a product \"Kickbutt\" is bad enough - but calling them ballz? Really? We\'re not usually this juvenile, but we couldn\'t stop saying \"Ballz\" for the rest of the day. We felt genuinely sorry for their reps at the conference who had to say \"KickbuttBallz\" over and over. Oh, and their website? Kickbuttballz.com.

These \"Poprs\" are meant to go into a child\'s applesauce or yogurt, to encourage your children to eat \"healthy food.\" We can imagine the scene at the meeting - executives sitting around the table, and one lone genius stands up and says \"Let\'s combine Pop Rocks with Yogurt!\" They also change the color of the yogurt - because we want to be teaching our children that only bright blue food is good to eat. If our yogurt started popping in our mouth, it would probably end up about 10 feet across the room after we spat it out violently. It\'s probably okay because they are gluten free \<em\>and\<\/em\> they have vitamins.

GüDFüD. Just say it. Over and over. Until your co-workers are crazy. These stuffed marshmallows apparently scare us much more than our friends - we don\'t really want to eat marshmallows stuffed with artificial grape, orange and strawberry flavoring. It\'s also fairly creepy how the fruits are being shoved into the marshmallows heads as they wink at you seductively. Mmm, sexy marshmallow.

This is not a new product, but it still deserves a mention for its linguistic crimes if nothing else. There is no such word as \"endulge.\" Leave aside the fact that the bar tastes like wet clay or that the photo on the package looks like it was taken with a kiddie camera in 1986 - \"Endulge\" is not a word. Memo to Atkins - stop making things up, and we\'ll stop hating your products. Oh, wait. No we won\'t.

The trend of adding vitamins to everything continues this year, but this is the worst example we found. Looking at the picture, we imagine a classic, black-and-white scene: Grandma at the counter measuring out dough, kids waiting eagerly at the table. Grandma picks up her vial of industrial vitamin powder, mixes it in, and stirs violently, trying to ignore the smell. The kids cry \"Where are the Vitamin Cookies?\" Just like our childhood.

Cheaters is not really an appetizing name for a candy. But, this isn\'t an appetizing candy! Did any of you have that extra-strong fluoride put on your teeth after childhood dental treatments? It was thick and gooey, and my favorite flavor was apple-cinnamon. This \<em\>is\<\/em\> that fluoride. Except you\'re supposed to pay to squeeze it into your mouth. Why anyone would want to snack on Xylitol Gel is beyond us. Why is it called Cheaters? Because (according to the package) you are \"cheating\" obesity and diabetes by eating it. Oy.

Save the best for last. Last year, we found weight loss spray at the expo - this year, it\'s All-Nite-Long Men\'s Vitality Spray. They wouldn\'t give us a sample, so we had to make do with the promotional literature, which assures us that it is all-natural and includes \"Long Jack,\" \"Horny Goat Weed\" and other appetizing ingredients. There really isn\'t much more to say.