Lollapalooza Has Made The Metra A Hellscape Of Loud Teens

By Mae Rice in Arts & Entertainment on Aug 3, 2017 8:00PM

Photo via Mobius in Mobili on Flickr

Chicagoland's public transit systems are ostensibly prepared for Lollapalooza weekend. The Metra and the CTA are "adding service and expanding capacity," according to a confident-sounding press release, written by someone who has never met a suburban teen ready to party. Let alone a thousand of them.

But today, the Metra is full of these teens. They are all yelling!

Brave Chicago journalist (and former Chicagoist contributor) Joe Erbentraut, who is not a tween, tweeted an incredible thread from a Metra train that doubled as a circle of hell. It begins:

Here's some video from the train, if you thought he was joking:

Over at On the Metra, other riders echo Erbentraut's account:

The Meta really could just turn into a rat-king of teens... pretty much anytime:

But there's hope! This thread is full of survival tips.

For instance:

And:

And, maybe the best advice of all:

It's not like the Metra has never been total anarchy before—once I saw it an absolute madhouse after a James Taylor concert at Ravinia! Not a teen in sight!—but just in case you wanted official word: the Metra is teeming with teens today, and they are very excited about bands.