First off, if you heard "Sex Expo" and "Excalibur" and your mind didn't immediately mash them up into "Sexcalibur," well, you're just not trying. Secondly, while the idea of a Sexpo in Chicago seemed cool at first thought, after inspecting the photo section of their MySpace (NSFW!), we kinda feel like we need to take a shower. Strippers, dominatrixes (dominatrices? what's the plural?), plastic surgeons, sex-worker outreach program organizers, gentleman's club owners and vendors of......

Man, what a rough year for the Sun-Times. First, Robert Novak went down with a brain tumor, then Jay Mariotti left in cloud of dust and hissy-fits, and now columnist Robert Feder is likewise bidding adieu to take a break and pursue other opportunities. In his farewell letter, Feder says: As someone who has lived here all his life, I can't recall a time when the Sun-Times wasn't part of my daily routine. It's the......

Word from the Tribune late Tuesday ended any speculation that former Sun-Times sports columnist Jay Mariotti might be joining the city's other major newspaper. While talks did in fact take place, they fell apart due to the Sun-Times lawyers threatening to sue the pants off Mariotti and the Trib. Said Mariotti, "[they] threatened me with a lawsuit in 64-point type." Jay the Joke also said of the Trib, "It's not your father's Tribune...I enjoyed dealing......

The Sun-Times published the words "fuckin'," "shit," and "ass" on its website, which is big news for those of us obsessed with media self-censorship. (They've published "ass" before, when Lacy Banks wrote that "if death shows a hint of coming near me, I'll kick his ass, in the name of Jesus.") In recent months, the print version of the Sun-Times wouldn't run the word "asshole", the Trib translated a Chinese curse as "something-something-mama," and the......

Paige Wiser's column today about how Sarah Palin "could look even better" doesn't even make the claim that changing her look could earn her ticket more votes. Don't we all just want to be the prettiest princess at the party? C'mon, girls! "The former beauty queen is unquestionably attractive. Her signature look, however, is proving more divisive than her politics," Wiser writes. I think "unquestionably" is a stretch, though hairdos and shoes do indeed divide......

If you're feeling masochistic, you may want to head over to the Sun-Times website where Robert Novak has returned with a new column. The Prince of Darkness continues the notion that his brain tumor was the reason for him striking a pedestrian with his Corvette, and describes his current treatment at Duke whose cancer team was recommended to him by Ted Kennedy's wife, Vicki. Novak says that the reactions to his cancer have been "mostly......

We'll stop the Jay Mariotti coverage one of these days, but this open letter from Roger Ebert is too damn good to pass up. It's titled "Jay the Rat," and it ends "On your way out, don't let the door bang you on the ass." Our love for Roger Ebert knows no bounds. Full missive after the jump. [Ebert]......

And the hits just keep on coming with this Jay Mariotti story. Sun-Times EIC Michael Cook issued a statement today touting the paper's sports coverage as "the best sports section in the city" and boasting of its remaining columnists, yada yada. The statement also included this: The Chicago Sun-Times and suntimes.com will continue to have the scores and the stories before anyone else, anywhere, and the deepest and most comprehensive stats and standings. We......

Now that the euphoria of Mariotti's resignation has faded a bit and we're basking in that lovely afterglow, one question keeps gnawing at us: why did Jay leave? Sure, we know he said he's gonna sell his soul to the interwebs now, but...really? Mariotti had just secured employment with the S-T through 2011, the S-T is not undergoing a bloody purge a la the Trib, the Sox and Cubs playoff chances were sure to be......

And, lo, there was much rejoicing in the Windy City. Yes, Chicago, our long sports journalism nightmare is over. Jay Mariotti has left the Sun-Times to "pursue other opportunities." Mariotti was at the S-T for 17 years, for good and for (mostly) ill. He's also been one of the intolerable screaming heads on ESPN's Around the Horn for several years. And his resignation comes on the heels of his re-upping with the S-T through 2011......

The Beijing Olympics are over, which means that Jay Mariotti has returned Stateside after being his verbose self for two weeks in mainland China. The summation of Mariotti's final Beijing-datelined column? "China is creepy!" It's worth noting that Mariotti filed the column just as he was leaving China on a jet plane and free from being detained for "re-education" by authorities. We know this shouldn't have been unexpected. After all, Mariotti filed 28 columns during......

Well, is it?......

The dirty side of gentrification finally raises its head in East Pilsen. Residents and business owners in the neighborhood (aka "The Podmajersky area") are incensed that the owners of longtime polish sausage stand mainstay Express Grill are building a second location at 18th and Halsted. Business owners are touting the double parking and other traffic congestion, noise, overflowing dumpsters, drunkenness of its customers in the wee small hours and alleged illicit and criminal behavior going......

Two weird things from this inane Sun-Times article about new parents trying to prep their pets for the arrival of human spawn. One: "Gone is the old wives' tale of offering a used diaper to an animal to acclimate it to the newest person in the house." That's...an old wives' tale? Two: the term "fur baby" to describe a pet. I love my pets as much as any other lunatic, but "fur baby" is pushing......

In a letter to shareholders yesterday, the Sun-Times Media Group painted a pretty grim picture of the paper's state of affairs. It's no secret that the newspaper industry is in rough shape. Our industry's advertising revenues are being depressed by the significant declines in the industries that are most important to us - housing, real estate, employment, autos and, increasingly, retail. Some of the issues affecting our advertising revenue are economic, while others are secular.......

The Sun-Times interviewed hundreds of first-through-eighth graders and found that "half of all fifth- through eighth-graders said their 'greatest fear' was gun- or shooting-related." According to the report, "nearly three-quarters" of fifth-through-eighth graders said they heard gun shots in their neighborhood, and nearly two-thirds of fifth-graders "specifically listed guns or a shooting as their biggest fear." The students surveyed attend schools in Lawndale, West Town and Woodlawn, and the Sun-Times says the survey "offer[s] a......

Maybe it's the Lolla fatigue (hey, have you checked out our Day 1, Day 2, and Day 3 recaps yet?) but we find the Sun-Times' weather updates infinitely funny. Earlier, the weather was "insolent." Now it's been upgraded to "sassy." Here's hoping it doesn't get downgraded to "nefarious" any time soon.......

Today's big danger: Texting while walking! Holy moly, is it ever time to be afraid. Particularly of twin bullshit stories, neither of which identify anyone who has actually been injured. To the Sun-Times and the Tribune: Anecdotal evidence from a 30-something woman Trib: "Kelly Scheiner of Streeterville had many errands to run... And so, a silver Nordstrom bag draped over her left forearm, she marched north on Michigan Avenue, crossing Illinois Street at a crisp......

Sure signs of summer: fluff pieces from newspapers analyzing the dietary habits of our Presidential candidates. This one in the Wall Street Journal (via the Bright One) takes a look at the restaurants both Senators Barack Obama and John McCain frequent and discover what those restaurants say about them and their families. The Cliff's Notes? Obama is a cosmopolitan husband and father living in a city known for its world-class dining; McCain is some doddering......

The Tribune is reporting that longtime newspaperman, historian, Baseball Hall-of-Famer and Chicago native Jerome Holtzman has passed away over the weekend from a major stroke at the age of 82. Born on December 11, 1926, Mr. Holtzman began his career as a copyboy at the Chicago Daily News. He eventually wrote for every major local daily published in this city before retiring from the Tribune in 1999 to become the official historian for Major League......

It would be so easy for us to poke fun at yesterday's Sun-Times article where web editor Kirsten Miller volunteered herself for a blind taste test between prepared meals from Whole Foods and selections from a gourmet dog food service in Lake County and preferred the dog food two out of three times. It's just enough to say that Miller took one for the team, although she did volunteer Neil Steinberg first. (What? Paige Wiser......

Just in case you haven't seen it yet today, this. is. awesome. And it's not even Photoshop Phriday! Hey, Sun-Times - who put this cover (that's John Wayne under that Blagojevich face, btw) together? Give that person a raise. Who else could you Photoshop the Governor as? Mighty Mouse? Opie? Governor LePetomaine? Forrest Gump? A Blago v. Daley Spy vs. Spy poster? The possibilities are endless. Man, we wish we had better 'shopping skills. Alas.......

Downtown reflections by Timothy State. The Cubs beat the Sox, 11 to 7. Look for Wrigleyville to be a drunk fest tonight. [Trib] A home-built airplane crashed and burned after taking off at Aurora Municipal Airport. The pilot is okay. [Trib] Daley addressed graduates at Northwestern University, and encouraged their active participation in helping Chicago get the 2016 Olympics. [S-T] A naval recruit was struck and killed by a Metra train in Highwood early this......

Jay Mariotti signed a contract extension with the Sun-Times today, promising his wit and wisdom to the Bright One until May, 2011. Previously: No one likes Jay Mariotti. [S-T]......

The Sun-Times takes a break from reporting actual news to ask an important question: which team has the hotter fans, Cubs or White Sox? To help answer this question, they ask readers to submit photos of cute Cubs fans and sexy Sox fans which will be added to their gallery. The winners will be announced on June 20 -- but we know that the Cubs will win this vote. Even if we like the Sox......

The Chicago Police Department is investigating a bomb threat made last night to the WTTW Channel 11 station. Officials say that the threat may have been tied to last night’s premiere of the station’s new LGBT documentary, Out & Proud in Chicago. Dana Starks, Chairman of the Chicago Commission on Human Relations, issued a statement in part saying, "More than anything, this incident emphasizes the importance of providing education on the harmfulness of stereotypes which......

Stella Foster's column in the Sun-Times continues to defy reason. We know, we know, what do we expect, but: A RANDOM THOUGHT: Introducing sex education in schools was not a bright idea. . . . it interferes and distracts a young person from thinking about education to just thinking about doing the nasty. Self-esteem classes should be taught instead. The ellipses is from the column, not us cutting anything out. It's not a random......

The Sun-Times, probably regretting that they're still on the hook for Conrad Black's attorney fees and Jay Mariotti's salary during a recession, has been on a frugal kick this week. Every day they've run a story on families saving money on groceries, usually involving shopping at Aldi's, cutting coupons, or selling the extra car and biking. Today in the Weekend Plus section, food critic Pat Bruno takes time off from visiting every Italian restaurant in......

Mike Downey at the Trib is incensed! He's pissed that the Sun-Times ran a front-page story about the White Sox' blow-up dolls, and spends his entire column ragging on the paper, its ads and its editorial content. ...if you are going to condemn a baseball team and its manager for offending the public's taste, then your own house better be squeaky clean. Particularly if your own very public publication trades in highly provocative material and......

Photo by Genial23 God, we love a good Mavis Beacon joke. [Lonely Sandwich] The Blackhawks are raising ticket prices. [Trib] "'My kid's going to be born in a week, and I'm going to name him 'Dude.'" [CTA Tattler] A quilt with a quilt on it. Meta! [IamSusie] "Mark me down, I’m against violence." Mike Madigan, taking a tough stance. [S-T] The Sun-Times Media Group is being delisted from the New York Stock Exchange. Please,......