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The Blagojevich Media Blitz Drinking Game

By Karl Klockars in Miscellaneous on Jan 26, 2009 8:00PM



If you haven't overdosed on Blagojevich-ing with Good Morning America and The View this morning, perhaps you'll find yourself glued to Larry King Live (or even ABC's NightLine) this evening. We're assuming he'll rehash all the Oprah-centric senatorial questions, as well as repeating his talking points about Impeachment Proceeding Rule 8b and how unfair all this is to him. Since it's Larry King, we're also going to assume there will be questions like "What's it like being governor" and "Gee, you've got a goofy last name" and "So, why are you here again?"

As is our wont with major media events related to Chicago, we've compiled a short list of reasons to drink during the program this evening. Not that the state of the state itself isn't reason enough to stay 'faced pretty much 24-7. Should you choose to play at Kuma's and you can pair the drinks with a Bleepin' Blago Burger. Maybe have them mix you up an Im-Peach-Tini or an Effen Blago Cocktail. List after the jump, and as always, feel free to add to it.

Photo courtesy AP/Mary Altaffer

  • 1 drink for each time he says "The fix is in"
  • 1 drink for every Kipling quote
  • 1 drink per declaration of innocence
  • 1 drink per invasion of Larry's personal space (did you see him pawing Whoopi this morning?)
  • 1 drink for every redirection of a question.
  • 1 drink for every time he says "I can't wait to tell the public" and then gives excuses as to why he can't.
  • 1 drink for a name mention of any Illinois Republicans.
  • 1 drink for every time he whines about no witnesses.
  • 1 drink per mention of any member of the Mell family, excluding his wife.
  • 1 drink per self-repetition. "I will fight, I will fight, I will fight" would be 3 drinks.
  • 1 drink for each oppressed minority leader he refers himself to
  • 1 drink for each time he stalls by saying Larry King's name
  • 1 drink for each reminder he was elected by the people of Illinois
  • 2 drinks for the reminder he was elected twice
  • 2 drinks for every non-Kipling poetry reference
  • 2 drinks for each time he references non-impeachable actions as reason for impeachment, i.e., keeping taxes low, AllKids, free rides for seniors, etc.
  • 3 drinks per martyr he compares himself to
  • Full bottle if he announces his presidential bid for 2016