Friday Afternoon Diversion: F My Life

By Lizz Kannenberg in Miscellaneous on Feb 13, 2009 6:10PM

It's almost Valentine's Day, the retailer-manufactured annual reminder of a) how tragic our sex lives are, or b) how woefully inadequate our relationships are at filling the cold black void of our intrinsic longing for validation.

So, you find yourself sitting in your crappy cubicle at your crappy job, watching everyone else get Valentine's flowers while waiting to be laid off. However should you spend the rest of today? At F My Life, of course, where ordinary folks share tales of woe that'll make your meager paycheck or lonely V-day seem like small potatoes. A sampling:

"Today, after being in the hospital for 2 days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex girlfriend. FML."

"Today, the girl I love and I went to visit my parents out of state for the first time. My father grinned and acknowledged that she was a "keeper", at which she laughed and said we were "just friends". I was going to propose to her next week. FML."

"Today, I gave my girlfriend non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech she tells me I have the body of a monk seal. She then takes my keys, staggers to my car, and drives away. She crashed into a tree 2 blocks later. She's fine. FML"

If that's not enough, you can always revisit this douchebag to feel better about yourself.