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Peterson Headed to Bunny Ranch

By Marcus Gilmer in News on May 7, 2009 8:20PM

A few days ago, I blew my stack about the possibility of D-Pete appearing on the HBO show "Cathouse." Well, it now seems as if D-Pete won't be allowed on the show, but he could wind up employed at the ranch anyway. Said Moonlite Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof, "HBO called me and said they decided they didn't want him on the show. So it's off the table." So what will D-Pete be doing out there? If he wants it, according to Hof, the head of security position is open to him. Right. Because what a brothel employing 500 prostitutes needs is a head of security that's being investigated for one wife's murder and another's disappearance.

But the absolute best part of this shitstorm waiting to happen? The reasoning behind okaying D-Pete. From Chicago Breaking News:

Hof said that the women at the ranch initially had mixed reactions about the idea of Peterson working with them.

"Then one girl raised her hand and said, 'Dennis, remember when we convicted Richard Jewell?' Hoff said, referring to the security guard wrongly suspected and later cleared of setting off a deadly bomb at Atlanta's Centennial Olympic Park.

"Then they all raised their hands and it was unanimous [support]. We all watch CSI. There's no way to get away with anything anymore."

That squeal you just heard was the sound of what was left of my soul dying.