What's An Almost 40-Year-Old Virgin To Do?

By aaroncynic in Miscellaneous on Dec 17, 2009 9:20PM

Do a quick Google search for “Sex advice” and by the time you're finished typing the “I” the autofill finishes with “for a virgin” and will net you nearly 500,000 suggestions. The word “sex” by itself generates almost 689,000,000 suggestions, most of which are NSFW (note: neither is the search). These days one can find advice on just about anything online, from home buying to humping. This is why we at the Chicagoist were slightly taken aback by a recent column in the Sun Times where a real life Andy Stitzer wrote that he wanted to know how exactly, he should go about losing his virginity.

Almost predictably for those of us who spend a lot of time reading Dan Savage, Tales from the Front columnist Cheryl Lavin thought that “Get This Monkey Off My Back” should consider prostitution. “Prostitution is legal in some counties in Nevada. And even where it's illegal, it's widespread...I'm not recommending that you do anything that makes you uncomfortable, I'm just presenting an option.”

While most of us here in the newsroom weren't particularly concerned over the morals of the issue at hand, we were a little bit curious about the moral duplicity the Sun Times showed in publishing this. Granted, Cheryl did alert readers that this would be her most “politically incorrect column ever,” but for a mainstream newspaper advice columnist to openly endorse the services of a prostitute - it's just a bit awkward. A round-table discussion ensued in the Chicagoist break room and you can check out what some of our esteemed writers had to say - and feel free to add yours - after the jump.

Laura: That's the kind of advice I like to agree to privately while shaking my head and wrinkling my nose publicly.

Marcus: It's a curious question to include given the controversy around the recent Ask Amy column. Of course, it's also possible the whole thing is fake...

Alex: Is this crazy advice? Non-traditional, maybe, but I don't see anything wrong with it (at least the "look around on the internet" advice, which avoids the "sex as a commodity" moral mine field). Not knowing about the internet, I feel even worse for him. This poor guy has been wasting his time masturbating to Sears underwear ads.

Aaron: Can you imagine if this was published in say, the late 80's or early 90's? Back when we were still slapping "parental advisory" stickers on everything that even thought about mentioning naughty bits? Reminds me of the Fox syndrome: Have part of your newsgroup spout insanely radically conservative thought, decrying the desecration of the moral fiber of America because of sex and violence - then produce content that's filled with the same sex and violence. It's a feedback loop.

Prescott: Everyone knows the key to losing your virginity is believing in yourself and selling all your action figures on eBay.

Kevin: Does anyone remember when someone wrote in to Dear Abby and the "problem" was the plot to a first season episode of the Simpsons?