The Chicagoist will be launching later but in the meantime please enjoy our archives.

R. Kelly Pulls Out... Of A Concert Cruise

By Jon Graef in Arts & Entertainment on Aug 13, 2012 7:20PM

2012_03_21_r_kelly.jpg

Human facepalm/endless soap opera plot generator R. Kelly was scheduled to perform two shows during a five-day Miami-to-the-Caribbean cruise in October for a company called Concerts Cruise LLC. But then, according to TMZ, he... he ... he ...

*sigh*

TMZ?

R. Kelly just pulled out of his highly anticipated act aboard a cruise ship, telling TMZ it's all because the company couldn't cough up the cash they originally promised.

And thus, we all lose our lunch. A Kelly spokesman told TMZ that the singer "is sorry for any disappointment but plans to see his fans very soon on a U.S. tour." Indeed. After all, he's still got those taxes to pay. (H/t Fake Shore Drive)